Fear and Trust
by Caera1996
Summary: Bones has one more shuttle training section to pass for his Basic Flight certification…it doesn't go all that well. A very late Christmas present  or early Valentine's gift  for cookiechris80 who asked for a Jim and Bones h/c story.


Title: Fear and Trust  
Author: Caera1996  
Rating: G  
WC: 1,247  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
Summary / Note: Bones has one more shuttle training section to pass for his Basic Flight certification…it doesn't go all that well. A very late Christmas present (or early Valentine's gift) for cookiechris80 who asked for a Jim and Bones h/c story. I'm sorry I suck and it took me so long, but I hope you like it!

* * *

Leonard swallowed hard, his mouth dry as he breathed shallowly and too quickly. This was ridiculous. This was his worst nightmare…and he _willingly_ put himself here. What the hell was he thinking? There was no way…no way…he could do this.

_Emergency procedures my ass,_ he thought. If a shuttle was going to decompress, blow up or crash into an asteroid, there was no emergency procedure that would save any of them. His heart raced, and he realized he was shaking. No, no…he had to get out of here. Now. Right now.

"Jim," he said…tried to say. It was barely a whisper. Desperately he cleared his throat and tried again. "Jim!" That came out as a shout, too loud in the enclosed space. He forced himself to open his eyes, focusing on the floor of the shuttle, not wanting to look out the front window. He was vaguely aware that a couple of the other cadets also on this training flight were eyeing him warily, but he didn't care at all.

Jim currently wasn't in his seat. He was moving from cadet to cadet, checking suit settings and confirming that everyone was dressed properly. For this exercise, the cadets were going to experience what it was like to have to evacuate a shuttle – a required portion of basic flight. The portion Leonard hadn't passed yet. Jim had talked him into signing up for this run, as he was the assistant on it and figured he could help Leonard through it.

Well, so much for that. They weren't even off the ground yet.

Jim made his way back over to Bones quickly, having heard that sharp edge in his voice…he was losing it and they weren't even off the ground yet. Bones was frantically pulling at his seat restraints, hands usually so stead betraying him with fright-numbed fingers and uncontrollable shaking.

"Bones," Jim said quietly, coming to kneel in front of him. He didn't reply, didn't even seem to notice that Jim was there. "Bones," he said again, a little louder this time, gently taking hold of his hands and stilling their frantic motion. "Hey…you're okay." Bones looked up, meeting Jim's eyes, and Jim had to make an effort to stop himself from flinching at the raw fear in his eyes.

"No…no I'm not. I can't do this. I can't Jim, I can't. I have to get off. Now. I have to get off…" Leonard paused, gasping as he pulled at the buckle and Jim looked around them, throwing a glare at a staring cadet until he turned away. He turned back to Bones, tightening his hands over the doctor's trying to redirect his attention.

"Bones…Bones, you're okay. I won't let anything happen to you. You're okay," Jim said, trying to make and keep eye contact. He'd never seen Bones like this…this was a full panic attack. He'd seen him sick to his stomach, shaky and nervous, but never like this. Bones was breathing like he'd been held under water.

"Jim…no…no…let me go…I have to get off. I can't…don't let the shuttle take off…please…" Bones was rapidly moving to shouting, and the second he managed to get the buckles disengaged he stood, knocking Jim, who'd been crouching in front of him, backward on to his ass. But he didn't stop…just focused on the hatch, which was still open. _Thank god it's still open_, and escaped, practically running until his feet were on firm ground. Gasping for breath as his heart knocked in his ribcage, he hunched forward, hands on his knees, waiting for the world to stop spinning. Sweat…he didn't even realize he'd been sweating…dripped into his eyes.

"Bones!" he heard vaguely from behind him over the rushing in his ears. He didn't respond, just slowly straightened and walked away, leaving the nightmare behind.

* * *

Hours later, after the emergency procedures training flight had gone off perfectly, minus one, Jim keyed in the entry code to Bones' room, letting himself in. He'd so wanted to go after Bones…to make sure he was okay, to just be with him. But he couldn't at the time. He'd had a responsibility as the assistant on that flight. There was just no getting around that.

And, damn it, but he really thought Bones would be able to get through it. He was still a bit nervous during the sims, but he managed to do everything that was required with minimal distress. They'd done the emergency procedure sim again and again over the last couple of months, to the point that Bones knew the procedures by rote. And now, the actual training flight was the only thing standing between him and full certification for Basic Flight. And that was a requirement all cadets had to fulfill.

"Bones?" Jim said, dropping his bag and moving more fully into the single room.

"Go away Jim."

Completely ignoring him, Jim made his way to the partitioned sleeping area. Bones was lying sprawled on his back, red cadet overjacket on the floor, shoes on top of it. He'd flung his arm over his eyes and turned away from where Jim stood.

"You okay?" Jim asked quietly. Bones snorted.

"Peachy," he replied gruffly. Jim sighed and toed his shoes off, unzipping the red jacket, and letting it fall next to Bones'. He lay down on his back next to him, pushing so that Leonard had to scoot over to make room, or they were actually going to overlap slightly. Grumbling, he edged sideways, still not looking at Jim at all. Jim turned his head to stare at his obscured profile, his arm still over his eyes. They lay side by side in silence for a few minutes, until Bones let out a huge sigh.

"I can't do it, Jim," he mumbled, defeat and embarrassment in his voice. Jim didn't answer, but turned on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. He pulled Bones' arm down, wanting to be able to see him. Bones allowed it, but turned his head away, still feeling the sting of humiliation over his behavior.

"You'll get there, Bones. We'll keep working on it," Jim said. He waited, but Bones didn't respond, wouldn't look at him. "Hey," he said, after a few moments of silence. "Bones. Come on." Bones sighed again, but turned to look at Jim, taking a second to actually meet his eyes.

Jim smiled at him, trying to impart the compassion, confidence, and determination he felt, willing Bones to feel it too. "So this wasn't the time. Okay…so we keep working on it, log some actual flight time, do some dry runs in orbit. You weren't ready yet, but we will get you there. Keep working on it with me…trust me. Okay?"

Leonard studied Jim, feeling the pull of everything that made him who he was, and found he was having a hard time thinking of a reason not to do as he asked.

"Yeah," Leonard finally said. "Okay."


End file.
